In principle I’m all for the idea of a ‘one garment for all’. It’s a beautiful concept; one universal style, designed to suit all personalities, styles and body shapes. However, in my experience, for every glorious Zuri Dress that I’ve discovered, there’s been 50 linen, rectangular, sacks that are over-priced, come only in the shades of black, sludge-grey, and sludge-taupe, and although the label says ‘one-size/ style fits all’ what they forget to add are the words ‘…as long as you’re no bigger than a size 14’.
Which is why when, over the past 18 months or so, I’ve constantly heard chatter on social media, fashion-blogs, and via my own contacts of a mythical ASOS jumpsuit that truly looks good on everyone, I was sceptical. A one-style-for-all concept makes sense on a loose, free flowing, dress. But a form-fitting jumpsuit that has to take into account height, hips, thighs, boobs and all of those other gorgeous, curvaceous, oh-so-variable-parts? Well surely there can’t be any such thing. Especially not from somewhere as accessible, and mass-produced, as ASOS?
My hesitance was also increased due to my total-aversion to trousers. It’s a body confidence / fat-girl thing that I have a feeling that many will identify with. When you’ve had far too many shitty, tear-stung, experiences, trapped in a claustrophobic, mall dressing-rooms, trying on trousers, where no matter what size you put on, your thighs Just-Won’t-Fit. Or they get over your thighs, only to gape at the waist. Or you end up feeling frumpy in crappy polyester-plus size trousers with stupidly-placed pockets, naff embellishments, and flimsy fly zips that aren’t going to last two weeks. Well all-in-all, it’s just too much of a headache, and so why even bother when you can just put on a skirt or a dress which will ALWAYS fit over your thighs and arse.
So yeah, apart from jeans, it’s been many years since I have even considered putting on a pair of trousers. Let alone a jumpsuit, which not only is trouser-based, but also, is all-in-one, which means no seperate top, to pull out and use to cover stomachs, lumps and bumps. A jumpsuit means you’re putting all of yourself out there. Just as you are. Every part of the body pronounced. Nowhere to hide. Vulnerability level: 10.
What I’m saying is that a jumpsuit was something I swore would never happen for me. Not in a million years. Jumpsuits are for thin people. For elegant people. For people who always have lovely, happy, dressing-room experiences.
But then a dear pal tweeted that this infamous ASOS Jumpsuit was back online, and she promised that it really was The Dream Garment. And, well, it’s different when someone you know personally, respect and trust, tells you that isn’t it?! Plus it was only $61 NZD and I figure that with ASOS’s excellent free-return system, I really had nothing to loose.
A week later it arrived…and my verdict?
I get it. I totally get it. I’m drinking the jumpsuit Kool-Aid. I can see why this is a universally-adored, widely revered, practically iconic, style: Black, deep-V neck cut, 3/4 length sleeves, pockets, made from a nice, soft, stretchy jersey knit with strategically placed draping in the areas where one might start to feel a little self-conscious. If I supported the use of the word ‘flattering’ (because I do not) that would be how I describe this.
The garment fits like a dream. No zippers, you just pull it on, and let the clever cut and the Lycra do the rest. It’s genius. I sized up, because my jerk-brain told me that my thighs would be too big for the size that the guide told me I should get. But actually, it was fine, and in hindsight I should have just followed the size-guide. But having said that, it’s still a really good fit and I’m grateful for the extra fabric and looseness around the thigh and stomach area.
The beauty of this piece, is that it really is a readymade look. You pull it on and voila! You are feeling like an uber-sophisticated-sassy-1980’s-Italian-business-woman at some kind of fabulous cocktail party where you will definitely dance with Armie Hammer to the Psychedelic Furs, before he seduces you. If you want to dress it up, a pair of heels, statement earrings, clutch and some bold lipstick are are all you need.
I am a convert. I am in love. A complete and utter, obsessed, fan. I’ve only worn it out once, and have seldom felt fiercer or stronger. After posting photos of it online, six people have got in touch to get details so that they can buy their own. This makes me so happy. After-all, what is the point of experimenting with, talking about, and trying to be fashion-positive, if you’re not going to share the love and your sources?!
I’m already dying to acquire my second jumpsuit…
My only regret is that it took me so long to take the jumpsuit plunge. But that’s just part of the ongoing personal-style adventure. We get to things in out own way, in our own time, when we are ready. Fashion and body-acceptance is like climbing a ladder. It’s one rung at a time, and you can’t rush it. I don’t think I was in a place, until now, to be able to wear this item with pride and confidence. And if I’d have forced myself it’s possible I’d have hated it and been put off for life!
I am here now and that’s all that matters. And whenever we reach these little milestones, we should celebrate that moment of personal growth..so I fully intend to show my jumpsuit a really, bloody, good time, as a thank you!
Feel free to join me. Let’s form a jumpsuit gang. We’ll conquer and smash the world together!
JUMPSUIT – ASOS CURVE
SHOES – SWEDISH HASBEENS
EARRINGS – BALI PURCHASE
LIPSTICK – COLOURPOP ULTRA MATTE IN ‘ARRIBA!’
CLUTCH – BALI PURCHASE